Andrea {Another Boudoir Story}

While I have written my story before, my story is still continuing and I still have constant struggles to overcome especially when it comes to self love.

I was bullied in school for my weight even though I honestly wasn't fat. I had gained weight from stopping gymnastics since I wasn't as physically active but it wasn’t too bad. But I was made fun of for it and made to feel like I was fat and ugly. Because of that I became bulimic. I was sexually assaulted at the age of 13 and raped at 16. After the rape, I had an even worse view of my body and myself as a whole. I felt dirty and disgusting. No matter how many baths I took, I couldn’t become clean. No matter how deep I would cut myself, it would never be deep enough to take the guilt and disgust away. I finally spoke up about the rape a year later, in 2009 ... my senior year. I was looked at like I was filthy by some people. My health was also declining due to chronic migraines and had me hospitalized for a lot of my high school years but it was getting worse because of my stress and depression. I was in so much emotional and physical pain that I felt like I was drowning and taking my family along with me. One thing led to another and I tried to commit suicide. I stabbed myself in the abdomen and had to be rushed into emergency surgery where the doctor barely saved my life. I have the scar from the stab wound but I also have the huge surgery scar that has made me feel even more self conscious and honestly ... ugly. It has taken many years to try to train my mind to not think that way, but it comes natural to me to put myself down. Not but a little over a year after that, I ended up losing our first child. The one thing that my body is supposed to be able to do, the one person that my body is supposed to create and protect ... it failed. I failed. My body couldn't keep my own child alive. That is when I really started to hate myself. I felt helpless. Two months later, I got married .... to a man who not too much later became abusive and cheated on me. If my own husband can't even love me, how can I love myself? The abuse and cheating went on for years and I ended up divorcing him in 2014. I felt like I had nothing going for me. I failed in my marriage and I had failed as a mother. I still felt trapped but by my own emotions. I felt worthless for so long that I didn't know how to think differently. But I have ended up getting stronger and trying to reset my mind and way of thinking to learn to give myself plenty of patience and some much needed grace. But one reason why I have done multiple sessions with Katie is because I still struggle some with suicidal thoughts and how I feel disgusted with myself and how I have "let myself go" in how much weight I have gained.

All of this has been what has caused me to have the view of myself that I have. I have slowly been changing that and by some happy circumstance, I was led to Katie. I had always wanted to do a boudoir photoshoot but it would have been for my husband. After learning about what Katie does, I knew that this had go be for myself. I needed this for ME.

I was quite nervous going into my first session as I had never done anything like this before. Jessica helped pamper me with doing my makeup and hair and then Katie helped make me feel comfortable and sexy as I was doing the photoshoot. She gives you great directions and suggestions on what poses to do and let's you rock it in your own style. She helps make it comfortable and you end up having more fun than you imagined. I love all the kinds of different props that can be used and the different colored backgrounds that help give a different vibe to each look. So not only is it fantastic to be in lingerie and feel drop dead gorgeous, you have a photographer who brings you in as a client but then you end up leaving as a friend. To me, that is one of the most valuable things that I have taken away from these photoshoots. Katie is so encouraging and caring in real life and it spills out into her photography. She puts care and love into each of her clients's sessions and photographs. And when you see the finished products, you will be in awe of the fact that it is YOU in those pictures. It is YOU in that lingerie looking sexy, beautiful, gorgeous and worthy. YOU!

These sessions and pictures help keep me motivated to pursue better for myself mentally and emotionally. It is an encourager and a confidence booster. This was the starter to my self love journey and has helped me so much. If this can help me in the way that I needed, I know that it can help you too.

Mary {A Boudoir Story}

A short and sweet blog post for you today. I always tell my clients that this experience is all about THEM. It’s about breaking down all those barriers and misconceptions that women hold onto so tightly. While society is getting better about showing people of all sizes and abilities in advertising, it still highlights the need to be “skinny” or “have perfect large perky boobs” or whatever attribute that is socially most attractive at that time in history. It makes it super hard to be confident about ourselves no matter what our body type is because we always focus on what we think that we lack.

While most of my clients still come into the studio thinking that they are giving a gift to someone else, it ALWAYS becomes a gift to themselves as well. The images might make a great gift to a significant other, but the EXPERIENCE is all about you, about making you feel smoking hot in the body that you’re in, about embracing your “flaws” and highlighting the things that make you you.

Without further ado - I give you Mary: “I thought I was doing this for my husband's big birthday that's coming up. I think it was actually more for me! I felt so beautiful and the photos turned out so amazing! I'm thrilled I decided to do this for us. It will be something I can look back on for years to come.”

Jessica {A Journey to Self-Love}

Breasts. It seems in our society, that's what defines a woman. They've been used to sell everything from lingerie to burgers. They command attention and seem to determine rank amongst your peers. I've never had them, I should know. I spent the majority of my life being self conscious about being less than "endowed". I've heard "but you have this or that" but it still didn't change how I felt about my body. It wasn't until I was in my 30s that I realized it didn't matter. I didn't have to let boobs (or lack thereof) define me. I started to accept myself and love myself.

Then everything changed. It started with a lump in my right breast. Luckily, benign. Not so for my sister. Hundreds of miles apart, I was getting good news while she was getting the worst news- she had stage 4 breast cancer, triple negative. No treatment, no chance of recovery. The aggressive nature and inability to treat with conventional methods made her battle short lived. She passed a week before her birthday. My life was forever changed.

How did this happen? Why? She was so young. No one had answers, just more questions. What's your family history? You need genetic testing. You have a genetic mutation, what are you going to do? It was dizzying. I couldn't even handle the information. It looks months (and a lot of self examination) to decide on a prophylactic mastectomy. Then I literally had no boobs. And I couldn't do simple tasks like showering or dressing myself or brushing my hair. Talk about a hit to my self esteem. But I knew I did what I needed to do, and the support I had was invaluable.

I had always admired Katie's work and had always wanted to work with her. I finally booked a shoot, mid-reconstruction. In this body that doesn't even feel like my own? With these awful tissue expanders where breasts once were? After I've laid around for months in recovery, eating Chinese takeout and not even considering a workout? Was I crazy??? Nope. I cried when I saw my pictures. I felt so beautiful and so proud of myself.

All the nervousness I had before the shoot was uncalled for. Katie made me feel amazing (and her artist made me look amazing!) My scars are beautiful. They will forever remind me that I got to live. What better gift can you ask for? I still have another surgery to go, and I may never feel whole, but I'll learn to love myself again. Beauty comes from the inside, not from having a perfect body. Thank you Katie, for helping me and so many other women see that

Glambassador Brittany {A Boudoir Story}

Growing up I never really hated my body. I was happy and athletic. It wasn't until I turned 23 and became diagnosed with a chronic disease that I started to hate my body. When I first became sick I was miserable I was below 100 lbs, I couldn't even look at myself while naked let alone let my husband see me!

My flare passed and I started to gain weight back but still never made it back to my healthy weight. I still didn't feel comfortable in my skin, for years I was this way. Then yet again my body fell under an awful flare, I had to have surgery and have an ostomy bag attached to my body to help me heal. Talk about an all time self-confidence low!! It took my months to even think about changing shirts in front of my husband. Intimacy was out the window for me!!

Then Katie and I had a long and beautiful talk about how I could prove myself wrong with boudoir photos. So I made the decision to go see her. Katie was the first to really see my bag outside of family and Doctors, and boy was I nervous!! Gosh I think I shook the whole time she helped me with outfits and the first set of shots she took. Then with Katie's amazing guidance and her ability to literally see the beauty in every woman, I became more confident throughout our first shoot.

When the glambassador positions came up and I just had to apply! By this time I no longer had my ostomy bag and had gained my weight back, I was finally nearing my healthy weight. Honestly, I was still struggling because of my scars from surgery and also being rounder than I have been in years!! But yet again Katie and her team showed me how beautiful I can be throughout any stage of my body and disease.

My husband and I are so in love with the way these boudoir sessions have changed my confidence! I have never felt more sexy or beautiful in my entire life!! I couldn't Thank Katie, her glam team, and the boudoir community enough, for the beauty and love they create and radiate!!

Andrea {A -second- Boudoir Story}

My idea of how I see beauty standards is that while women need to have a certain slim look, if you aren't skinny and toned, you are fat. If you are plus sized, you are fat. But then people want to say that you should love yourself no matter your size or shape. While the latter is true, there is so much more to that.

While we should be happy and confident with our bodies, we also need to remember that it's not just a physical issue, it's a mental one too. A lot of women like me have low self esteem for different reasons or from certain things that have happened to us. For me, while I do need to get healthier and lose weight per my doctor, it's mostly about my mentality of the whole idea because of physical and emotional scars, of extra stomach fat, of not feeling pretty or skinny or sexy no matter what I wear, because of how I see myself versus other women.

In one of my past relationships, I was cheated on multiple times and I was never complimented. Ever. He was abusive in all forms and I felt like I was nothing. I was told I was worthless and useless. I never thought I was pretty enough or skinny enough even though I was a lot skinnier then than I am now. I felt like I was the ugliest female that walked the earth. How could someone ever love me like this? I was so broken. So lost. In need of love and affection. In need of affirming that I am beautiful or sexy or at least worth something.

Whether she realizes it or not, Katie is helping me through this difficult journey of self love, confidence in my own body, changing how I view myself in the bedroom, and knowing my self worth. While I am in a better relationship now, I still have a lot of healing to do and learning how to have confidence. Katie is so encouraging throughout these sessions that you can't help but to feel her excitement and confidence in this whole idea. She radiates happiness and passion that automatically flows right into you. She makes you feel so attractive and sexy. Because of that, you automatically feel confident and ready to strike those poses and embrace your womanhood! Oh the difference even just a little encouragement can make.

If you are nervous about trying a boudoir photoshoot, you needn't be. Katie is so easy to talk to and she is the sweetest. Just talk to her first and she will help calm you down while her artist does your hair and makeup. After you look at yourself in the mirror when the artist is done, you will automatically feel elated and stunned. Your confidence goes up and it helps you become excited for your shoot! When you get into your lingerie ... or not ;) ... you will feel like you are a Hollywood starlet! Katie walks you through everything and suggests different poses for you to be able to do. The more she takes pictures, the easier it is to be calm and enjoy the experience of embracing your womanhood. You can flaunt your curves and sexiness while also being able to look elegant and classy. When she shows you your pictures after she has edited them, it will blow you away! And I will just put this out there .. there may be tears at this point. No matter how you view yourself, these photos will remind you that you ARE beautiful. You ARE sexy. You ARE worth it. But most importantly, that you are a woman through and through. The journey to confidence and self love may still be longer than you expect, but this is such a great start to changing the way you see yourself. You will not be disappointed! ♡ I promise you that.

Danielle {A Boudoir Story}

The whole reason I do what I do is for women like this one. Sure, it can make a great gift for a significant other or a spouse, but do it for you. Do it for the empowerment, the confidence, the self worth. Because you deserve every single bit of it.

I have to admit, when I got the wild idea to actually let myself do a boudoir shoot, I kind of thought I may have gone crazy. I'm not a very confident person and I have not particularly been crazy about my body. I walked in to my session really scared and nervous. I didn't feel like an average girl had any business showing off or being proud of her body, proud enough to embrace it or show it off. Boudoir photography has been labeled as trashy, skanky and attention seeking. Females who do this must just be out for attention for the wrong reasons. But why not this? Why can't a woman try something new? Something to give much needed confidence? Why not embrace our body that God gave us?

I am a 30 year old mother of two, and yes I did this just for myself, just for me. I did this to empower myself and to allow myself to love me as I am. I am not a typically confident person, let alone a person who is okay with their body. I was absolutely physically and emotionally comfortable with Katie. From the moment I walked in, she complimented and encouraged me every step of the way and never stopped making me laugh. Having my hair and makeup done made me feel so beautiful! I felt safe, I felt confident and I felt okay with loving my body as it is. I walked out feeling like it was finally okay to love myself and my body - just the way God made me.

I was STUNNED when I saw my images for the first time. I could not even believe that I was the girl in the photos. I looked too confident, too relaxed. The session really helped boost my self confidence and self image. To be made to feel and look beautiful gives you a gift of confidence. Society can roll its eyes and shame this type of thing but maybe we should build ladies up to love themselves more...just like Katie has done for me.