Small Acts, Big Hearts: Meaningful Ways to Make a Difference

Today is Make a Difference Day, and while grand gestures and organized volunteer efforts are wonderful, I want to talk about something even more powerful – the tiny, unexpected moments of kindness that can completely transform someone's day.

We've all heard about paying for the coffee behind you in line (and that's lovely!), but what about those deeper, more personal moments of connection that cost nothing but can mean everything? Sometimes the most profound impact comes from simply seeing someone who feels invisible.

The Power of Being Seen

There's something magical about the moment when someone feels truly seen and acknowledged in their struggle. Here are some small but mighty ways to make that happen:

For the Overwhelmed Parent

Tell the mom wrestling with a screaming toddler in the grocery store that she's doing a great job. Look her in the eyes and say, "You're handling this beautifully – we've all been there." Those few words can turn her worst parenting moment into a reminder that she's not alone and she's doing better than she thinks.

Offer to help load groceries for the parent juggling kids and a full cart. Or simply say to the child having a meltdown, "I can see you're having big feelings right now" – sometimes acknowledgment from a stranger can be surprisingly calming.

For Those Facing Hard Times

Keep a case of bottled water in your car to give to homeless individuals you pass by. Add a granola bar or a pair of socks. It's not about solving their entire situation – it's about acknowledging their humanity and showing that someone cares.

Leave encouraging sticky notes in library books, on bathroom mirrors in public restrooms, or tucked into clothing at thrift stores. Someone having a tough day might find exactly the message they needed: "You matter," "This too shall pass," or "Someone believes in you."

For the Service Workers

Learn the name of your regular barista, cashier, or janitor and use it. Ask how their day is going and actually listen to the answer. When someone spends their day serving others, being treated as a person rather than just a service provider can be incredibly meaningful.

Leave a glowing review that mentions a specific employee by name. That review might be read by their manager and could impact their job security or morale in ways you'll never know.

For the Struggling Students

Call AEP and ask who is getting their power shut off today sometimes all it takes is $50 to keep someones lights on.

Leave quarters on washing machines at the laundromat with a note that says "For whoever needs this." Sometimes it's not about the money – it's about the reminder that kind people exist.

For the Lonely Hearts

Strike up a genuine conversation with someone eating alone at a restaurant or sitting at the park. Not to intrude, but to acknowledge them. Sometimes a simple "How's your meal?" or “Isn’t the weather lovely?” can turn a lonely moment into a pleasant memory.

Compliment someone specifically and genuinely. Not just "nice shirt," but "that color is absolutely perfect on you" or "your smile just lit up this whole room." Specific compliments feel more sincere and can boost someone's confidence for days.

For the Essential Workers

Bring homemade treats to your local fire station, police station, or hospital with a note thanking them for their service. These folks work around the clock to keep communities safe and healthy.

Leave a cooler of cold drinks outside your house on hot days with a "Free for delivery drivers" sign. Mail carriers, Amazon drivers, and food delivery people spend long hours in the heat.

The Ripple Effect of Kindness

Here's what I've learned about these small acts: they don't just change the recipient's day – they change yours too. When you actively look for ways to brighten someone else's world, you start seeing humanity differently. You notice the single mom struggling with groceries, the elderly man eating alone, the teenager who looks like they're having the worst day ever.

And often, these tiny acts create ripple effects. The mom you encouraged at the store might be more patient with her kids later. The homeless person you acknowledged as a human being might feel a little more hopeful. The lonely diner you chatted with might smile at the next person they encounter.

Making It a Practice, Not Just a Day

While Make a Difference Day gives us a beautiful reminder to be intentional about kindness, imagine if we carried this awareness with us always. What if we made it a daily practice to look for someone who needs to feel seen, valued, or supported?

The beautiful thing about these gestures is that they require no special skills, no significant financial investment, and no organized planning. They just require us to pay attention to the humans around us and respond with compassion.

Start Where You Are

You don't need to change the world today. You just need to change one person's moment, one person's day, one person's perspective. And you know what? That might just change the world anyway – one small act of kindness at a time.

So as you go about your day today, keep your eyes open. Look for the person who seems overwhelmed, lonely, unnoticed, or struggling. Then do something small but meaningful to remind them that they matter.

Because they do matter. And so do you. And so does every tiny act of love you put into the world.

What small act of kindness will you share today? Sometimes the tiniest gestures leave the biggest impact.

Miss T {A Boudoir Story}

Last year, when I turned 60, I thought I’d handled it pretty well…the “Big 6-0” hadn’t affected me at all – or so I thought. I didn’t realize it, but I started using my age as an excuse to get lazy, forget my sex appeal, and basically find a reason not to be intimate…”I’m too old to be frisky anymore,” I told myself. Basically, I thought that all was left to me was the rocking chair and my knitting needles.

Enter Katie Larrington Boudoir Photography.

My partner recognized that I was pre-emptively sliding headlong into my AARP-era when he suggested that we take part in a boudoir shoot for our birthday (we celebrate our special day, with him being 3 years younger…call me a Cougar-ette). Having just celebrated our 10th anniversary, I had gifted myself / him with some cute and sexy lingerie since it had been quite awhile since I’d worn anything special for him. He noticed how much fun I had with that, thus the spark of a boudoir shoot was ignited.

I surprised even myself when I immediately pounced on his suggestion. I’ve never been overly-modest and I admit that I found the idea of such a thing to be titillating and sexy – and certainly just the gift to myself to help celebrate both my birthday and a recent 40 pound weight loss. I was thrilled and surprised when my partner eagerly agreed to take part in it with me!

In the weeks leading up to the shoot, I knew I wouldn’t be at my ideal weight or even in the shape I would love to be in by shoot time, but I still worked on getting my daily steps in, a wee bit of resistance training, and a LOT of sit ups. I finally faced the fact that I would never be the Sports Illustrated swimsuit model ideal I was pursuing, so I decided to love the body I was in and I jumped in with both feet.

I also spent that time doing the “fun stuff”: curating a wardrobe and making a mix tape of music that made me happy, made me feel sexy, and would put me at ease. (as it turns out, Katie has great pieces to augment any wardrobe – right down to accessories and shoes. I only wish I had enough time in our shoot to get to all of them!)

I took a bottle of Persecco to enjoy among Katie, Jessica, and myself while I was getting my hair done. I chose to do my own makeup since I know my way around a mascara wand and it was important to me to look as much as my authentic self as possible. The bubbly and the camaraderie among us girls were a HUGE help in putting me at ease. My partner even came early to watch that part just to see me in my element…did I mention what a terrific sport he is!? Any other time, I would say that the “pre-gaming” was my favorite part, but…

The shoot was a total blast. I’ve never felt more attractive, alive, or vibrant - and certainly have I never felt sexier than I did for the next 90 minutes. Katie simply blended into the background as my partner and I retreated to our own little, sexy world. She provided direction when necessary, but basically left it to us to be as intimate and romantic as our instincts took us. I could definitely feel that he was into it (ya get me, guys and gals?). I had no idea that my otherwise quiet, stoic, and “vanilla” guy had such an exhibitionist streak in him…and I loved it! There are so many things to say that I loved about the experience, but seeing myself through his eyes made me feel something that I don’t think I’d ever felt in all our time together…and I don’t think I’ve ever felt so desired – or desirable. I won’t even go into the post-shoot adventure that we enjoyed once we got home.

The wait for the photos seemed like forever when in actuality, it was a very short turnaround. Katie even teased us with a small group of preview pics that only served to whet our appetite for the final product – which we loved. Words fail to properly describe how much we love the end result…there are times I can’t believe it’s actually us…she made us look just that good – and HOT!

To anybody on the fence or having doubts, I say unequivocally, “GO FOR IT!!” There is no question that it is one of the most adventurous, daring, and rewarding experiences of my life. I feel better about myself (even my “muffin top”) and the appeal of that rocking chair no longer calls to me.

Our relationship has regained its footing and dare I say our intimacy level is off the charts. Going forward, anytime either of us start to fall into that old ennui or get “stale”, I guarantee we’ll pull out our photo album and remember that day in late April when we came alive and rescued our mojo.

Thank you, Katie. You’re a magician with a camera. I’m telling everybody I know they NEED to spend an afternoon with you and get their sexy back!

Megan {A Boudoir Story}

I was considering a boudoir photo shoot as a gift for my significant other and I’m so glad I ended up doing it! Not only do I think he’s going to love the photos but I really enjoyed the experience.

I was really nervous before going but as we got started I felt comfortable and by the end confident! Katie gave me feedback that made me feel beautiful. I was scared I wouldn’t want to see the photos or be happy with what I saw but after I got the previews I couldn’t wait to get the rest! I would definitely recommend this experience.

Rachel {A Boudoir Story}

I have always struggled with body image. I always compare myself to other people and wish I looked a certain way.

Doing this photo shoot, I got my confidence back and feel more comfortable in my own skin. I see myself as beautiful and strong. I would recommend doing this for anyone who wants to feel confident about their bodies. I’d women need to stop comparing ourselves to other people and love our own bodies which this will definitely do!

Kaysee {A Boudoir Story}

My experience with Katie was awesome! I was very hesitant to do a boudoir shoot. I had a few friends that had done them for day-of wedding presents for their husbands. But I always thought, “I could never let someone I never met photograph me basically naked.” But then I thought more about it and met Katie at a bridal expo.

Her business card said something along the lines of “… because no man ever said he’d rather have a watch.” I literally also considered getting my fiancé a nice watch for a gift to him on our wedding day. Right then, I knew it was meant to be and these photos would be the best gift I could give him on our wedding day.

During the shoot, I was a little bit nervous at first. But as time went on, I felt more comfortable with Katie photographing me. She was super super sweet. And I sort of just let my guard down and had fun! I definitely enjoyed it way more than I thought. Doing the shoot also definitely boosted my confidence. My whole life, I was super skinny- barely breaking 100lbs. Now granted, nowadays, I’m not much heavier than that. But 20lbs to me has seemed like a lot. So recently, I’ve been struggling with my body image. I think this shoot came at exactly the right time and gave me the confidence boost I needed.

When I saw the pictures, I was like “dang okay maybe I am pretty sexy!!” Katie definitely posed me in the best positions to make me look great. Plus seeing myself with full glam hair and makeup definitely helped. When getting my makeup done, I told Jessica to just do whatever she thought was best and she did amazing!! My hair and makeup looked so so good. Katie was the best and also sooo fast!! She had sneak peaks literally the day of the shoot and the full gallery within a week. My advice to anyone on the fence about doing a boudoir shoot would be just do it. You might surprise yourself and it might be better than you ever thought!! I would 10/10 do it over again!!

Brianna {A Boudoir Story}

I originally did my boudoir shoot as a Christmas gift for my boyfriend, but it become a gift for myself! It was such a confidence boosting experience. Social media makes it so hard to not nit pick every little “flaw” on your body, but this boudoir experience has helped me realize that I need to love my body no matter how imperfect I think it is. Everyone should do a photoshoot like this! It’s so empowering and it’s a great way to feel like a badass.

I don’t think my experience would have been as amazing if it weren’t for Katie and Jessica. From the minute I walked into the studio I felt at home! They did such a good job of making me feel comfortable. Jessica’s hair and makeup skills are top tier! I don’t usually wear makeup and she made me look and feel so beautiful! I don’t think I would have felt as confident during the shoot if I didn’t get my hair and makeup done.

Katie is a badass photographer! She was such a pro and you can tell she LOVES what she does. She has so many props and sets. She was hyping me up throughout the entire shoot. She showed me every pose she wanted done and guided me in posing which was amazing! No awkwardness in front of the camera. If you are considering doing a boudoir shoot with Katie, take this as your sign to say yes! You know you want to!

Jenny {A Boudoir Story}

I wanted to do a boudoir shoot for my husband and my anniversary. This is something totally unexpected of me to do. But once I started picking out my outfits and trying them on before hand, I realized I needed to do it for myself as well. I have very low self esteem when it comes to my body even though my husband brags on me and compliments me all of the time. For once I wanted to see myself the way he does, a beautiful, sexy woman.

I still don't like my body that I saw in the pictures, and I probably never will, but I do feel so much better about myself after seeing all of them. Having my hair and makeup professional done and talking to Katie while getting it done relaxed me so much and made the shoot so much easier for me. Katie explained every little thing she was going to do and told me how to pose perfectly. Everyone's body is beautiful no matter the size of it and that beauty comes out in Katie's photography. I am so glad I did this not only for my husband, but myself as well.

Ashley {A Boudoir Story}

My advice for other women would be yes, a boudoir session might seem a little weird at first but at the same time the outcome of the final photos are drop dead gorgeous. Katie walked me through everything and it was really great. I had fun and it was a big self esteem and confidence booster for sure!

5 out of 5 stars

Andrew and Ashley {A Couples Boudoir Story}

We had done a couple's boudoir shoot a few years ago, but some of the photos and poses were a little awkward, so we wanted to do another one with a different photographer. Ashley was also having some confidence issues with her body and we felt that a photo shoot would be a perfect confidence boost, which it most certainly ended up being.

After a quick Google search, we found Katie, and her website looked great, so we filled out the intro questionnaire, and Katie got back to us very quickly. She was super nice and helpful and got us excited for our shoot.

On the day of the shoot, we were both a little nervous and excited at the same time, and while Ashley was getting her hair and makeup done by the FANTASTIC makeup artist, we had plenty of time to sit and chat with Katie to ease our nerves. Once we started shooting, everything felt completely natural, almost as if Katie wasn't even there. We just focused on each other.

Our favorite part of the boudoir experience was the shower scene by far. It was a first time for both of us having professional photos taken of us naked, and it was exhilarating.

Seeing our photos for the first time was very impressive. We almost couldn't believe how amazing they all looked, and knew instantly that we wanted to get a book along with digital copies of all the pictures.

We absolutely loved working with Katie and definitely want to book another session in the future, it was just so much fun!

Sarah {A Boudoir Story}

I have always wanted to have a boudoir photo shoot. But I also wanted to be at the goal weight I had my mind set on. I had lost 50lbs back in 2019 but during Covid I had put 20+ back on. So I had been feeling down on myself for not maintaining that lost, for not handling stress well, and just feeling bluh.

So when I saw the questionnaire I was like ok I am going to fill it out because I was like I need to do something for me. I was so nervous days getting closer to photo shoot. And day of I was excited but nervous. I was afraid that there wouldn’t be a good picture because I don’t see myself as sexy and too overweight to be taking photos in lingerie.

Katie made me feel comfortable and at ease. She directed me on poses and did so many there would have to be a good picture in one of those. When I finally got my images I was shocked. Not only was there one good image but there was so many. I saw myself looking sexy, confident in my skin, and happy.

Tamara {A Birthday Boudoir Session}

I have always been a big girl, but I learned how to love myself for me and for no one else. I wanted others to see how confident I am in my skin. Society makes it to so hard for someone my size or bigger to even go out in public and enjoy ourselves because there is so many judgmental people around.

So, I had been looking for Boudoir photo sessions and came across Katie and I was impressed by her work. I contacted her to do my photos for me as a 30th birthday gift to myself. I was nervous and didn’t know what expect when I arrived, but Katie made me feel comfortable and I felt empowered about myself throughout the session.

The reveal of my pictures blew me away because I knew I was already fine, but Katies photography had me looking fine as hell. If you want to do something out of your comfort zone and want to feel confident in your own skin, then Katie is the person to go.

Carrie {A Boudoir Story}

I am not a fan of my body. I never have been. And its been many shapes over my 43 years and 3 kids. This year, I wanted to do something fun for my 10 year anniversary but I also wanted to do something for me. Something outside my comfort zone but also flattering that I could "accept" to maybe get a boost in confidence.

And BOY, did Katie do that for me. Self Love is so hard, but Katie makes you WANT to be sassy, empowered and feel beautiful. I was not disappointed in how I felt about the entire experience from makeup to the shoot. It was something I will never forget and when I need a reminder that I AM IN FACT beautiful as I am, I have a visual reminder.

Thank you Katie for helping this middle aged mama feel like a million bucks, even if it was for only a few hours, I have the reminder to last me forever!

Niki {A Boudoir Story}

Katie and I have been friends for years and you would have thought I would be the most comfortable because of that. I was terrified. Being naked and vulnerable for someone you don't know seems so much easier then someone you will have to face again. Katie brought down each level of my anxiety and before I knew it I trying all kinds of new outfits, poses and sceneries. She knows exactly where to start with you, how to ease you into it, pose you just right and make you feel sexy. And BOOM! It all comes together just like that. My only regret was that I hadn't done it sooner!

Dont wait until you're "ready". You will always be at your best when you are in her studio, feeling like a million dollars no a matter what. I want to post my pictures everywhere, show everyone, but they are a little risky, if you know what I mean!

Haley {A Boudoir Story}

So going into this I was terrified and extremely nervous. I was doing this shoot to get out of my comfort zone and do some self love. words cannot explain how empowering it is to get your pictures back and not even see the flaws that you see everyday. And to look at your pictures and think damn I look good and want to show people pictures of you. that is a huge deal for me and I highly recommend doing this for yourself

Kercia {A Boudoir Story}

My thoughts about soviet beauty standards is everyone should have a vixen body. Everyone you see on TV has a slim waist, perky boobs and a big booty! I wanted to do this shoot you feel beautiful at any size! I recently lost 80 pounds to gain my confidence back and to be more healthier. I still see myself as I was before the weight loss and I wanted to do this photo shoot to celebrate my hard work and prove to myself that the weight loss is real! My biggest fear was to see myself in photos half naked! After the shoot I’ve learned to embrace my body as it is currently! My body confidence before the shoot was probably a 3; after the shoot 7. I was definitely nervous, Katie helped by saying “yaassss” when she got that perfect shot then showing me a sneek peek of that photo right then and there! When I de my photos for the first time o had to say to myself... IS THAT ME?!?! I really enjoyed working with Katie and look forward to working with her in the future. I would tell those that are thinking about a boudoir photo shoot to GO FOR IT!!! Such a great experience!! Very professional and a great photographer.

Jessica {A Boudoir Story}

Katie is so magical to work with!

I have now done two boudior sessions with her and each have been absolutely amazing!

My first session was a Valentine's Day gift for my then boyfriend (now husband) and I loved them so much I returned to her to have a bridal boudoir shoot done when my husabnd and I got married.

Katie truly makes you feel so comfortable throughout the whole process ams each time I have been so pleased with the outcome!

I seriously can't believe how sexy and confident her work makes me feel and look! It is such a confidence boost and of course my husband loves all the photos. I framed a few and hung them in our bedroom to remind myself that I am a badass, sexy woman everyday!

Andrea {Another Boudoir Story}

While I have written my story before, my story is still continuing and I still have constant struggles to overcome especially when it comes to self love.

I was bullied in school for my weight even though I honestly wasn't fat. I had gained weight from stopping gymnastics since I wasn't as physically active but it wasn’t too bad. But I was made fun of for it and made to feel like I was fat and ugly. Because of that I became bulimic. I was sexually assaulted at the age of 13 and raped at 16. After the rape, I had an even worse view of my body and myself as a whole. I felt dirty and disgusting. No matter how many baths I took, I couldn’t become clean. No matter how deep I would cut myself, it would never be deep enough to take the guilt and disgust away. I finally spoke up about the rape a year later, in 2009 ... my senior year. I was looked at like I was filthy by some people. My health was also declining due to chronic migraines and had me hospitalized for a lot of my high school years but it was getting worse because of my stress and depression. I was in so much emotional and physical pain that I felt like I was drowning and taking my family along with me. One thing led to another and I tried to commit suicide. I stabbed myself in the abdomen and had to be rushed into emergency surgery where the doctor barely saved my life. I have the scar from the stab wound but I also have the huge surgery scar that has made me feel even more self conscious and honestly ... ugly. It has taken many years to try to train my mind to not think that way, but it comes natural to me to put myself down. Not but a little over a year after that, I ended up losing our first child. The one thing that my body is supposed to be able to do, the one person that my body is supposed to create and protect ... it failed. I failed. My body couldn't keep my own child alive. That is when I really started to hate myself. I felt helpless. Two months later, I got married .... to a man who not too much later became abusive and cheated on me. If my own husband can't even love me, how can I love myself? The abuse and cheating went on for years and I ended up divorcing him in 2014. I felt like I had nothing going for me. I failed in my marriage and I had failed as a mother. I still felt trapped but by my own emotions. I felt worthless for so long that I didn't know how to think differently. But I have ended up getting stronger and trying to reset my mind and way of thinking to learn to give myself plenty of patience and some much needed grace. But one reason why I have done multiple sessions with Katie is because I still struggle some with suicidal thoughts and how I feel disgusted with myself and how I have "let myself go" in how much weight I have gained.

All of this has been what has caused me to have the view of myself that I have. I have slowly been changing that and by some happy circumstance, I was led to Katie. I had always wanted to do a boudoir photoshoot but it would have been for my husband. After learning about what Katie does, I knew that this had go be for myself. I needed this for ME.

I was quite nervous going into my first session as I had never done anything like this before. Jessica helped pamper me with doing my makeup and hair and then Katie helped make me feel comfortable and sexy as I was doing the photoshoot. She gives you great directions and suggestions on what poses to do and let's you rock it in your own style. She helps make it comfortable and you end up having more fun than you imagined. I love all the kinds of different props that can be used and the different colored backgrounds that help give a different vibe to each look. So not only is it fantastic to be in lingerie and feel drop dead gorgeous, you have a photographer who brings you in as a client but then you end up leaving as a friend. To me, that is one of the most valuable things that I have taken away from these photoshoots. Katie is so encouraging and caring in real life and it spills out into her photography. She puts care and love into each of her clients's sessions and photographs. And when you see the finished products, you will be in awe of the fact that it is YOU in those pictures. It is YOU in that lingerie looking sexy, beautiful, gorgeous and worthy. YOU!

These sessions and pictures help keep me motivated to pursue better for myself mentally and emotionally. It is an encourager and a confidence booster. This was the starter to my self love journey and has helped me so much. If this can help me in the way that I needed, I know that it can help you too.

Emily {A Boudoir Story}

For so many years I wanted to do a boudoir session and I never had the confidence in myself to even attempt it. The past 5 years have been the most life changing years I have ever been through, not in a good way. I was destroyed mentally and emotionally for years until I finally said enough. I started from the bottom twice, lost everything and I have finally begun to stand on my feet again. During that time I gained excessive amount of weight, stopped taking car of myself and dove head first into work and making sure my two daughters were taken care of.

Then came 2020... I was on my feet and things were finally falling into place but I needed to focus on myself. In March, I was diagnosed with two forms of cervical cancer and that lead to a hysterectomy in July. I was upset but I did what was best. During this time I began working on myself and pushing myself to be better. I have lost 40lbs so far, I make sure to put on makeup everyday and I make my bed every morning (I know a lot of people do, but I never did, and the difference it makes is amazing). I constantly push myself to do better even when I am ready to give up.

Through all of this I started to love the person I saw in the mirror again... and it had been a long time. I scheduled my boudoir session with Katie after I saw a posting from her on Facebook. I figured, why not? I had such a great time and Katie made the experience great!

Miss Y {A Boudoir Mini Story}

I have been contemplating to come to Katie for a shoot for a while now. I decided to make the jump and schedule a mini session so I could see if I’d like to do a full and as a Christmas gift for my boyfriend. I’m in the military, train dogs, and go to school for engineering so my normal day look is a messy bun, leggings, and a hoodie or my uniform. I’ve never thought of myself as beautiful, hot, sexy, etc but Katie made me feel so at ease and comfortable.

I was highly impressed how proficient she is and how many amazing photos she was able to capture in such a small time. I love my photos so much I bought more on top of what was included! The icing on the cake though was seeing my boyfriends face Christmas morning. He was speechless and just smiling and couldn’t muster up words just the ability to hold and kiss me til he could say how happy he was. So thank you Katie for helping me feel like my old self again and making it a Christmas that’ll be hard to beat!

My Why

Today I’d like to talk a little bit about our “why”. You know the one. Why do people choose to have their boudoir pictures taken. Most of them are summed up in a few words, “For a gift,” “Because I’m turning 40 (or 20 or 80!),” “Because I want to feel sexy after (insert event here).” But I’m here to tell you my story today because even if you can sum it up like that, it always, always goes so much further than that. So, so much further.

For me, my why is very hard to admit, especially on a public site, especially with my profession of uplifting women, especially because I still sometimes slip back into my old ways of thought. It’s a story of self worth and where I think I lost it and how I got it back, but still sometimes struggle, and that’s ok. Back story: This past spring, my boyfriend of 4 years and I broke up. I have been devastated and feeling unworthy because of it, but honestly, it goes way farther back than that.

Mom, Dad, stop reading now and move on along to another blog post please.

The breakup wasn’t what did it though. To be perfectly honest, in terms of where I lost my self worth, it was years prior. We were no longer intimate and as every lady knows, that means trouble. Was it his bad work schedule, was it the weight I gained, was it just because it became routine? Who knows, but y’all, I blamed myself SO HARD. There were so many questions. Was I not pretty enough, was I not good enough in bed, was I not trying hard enough. Obviously he was still capable. I thought every awful thing I could think of. I had gained weight, I hardly wore any makeup or did my hair, I wore sweat pants in the house instead of cute things, he didn’t love me anymore, he just wasn’t interested, he was finding it somewhere else. It was all because of me, or so I told myself. Don’t we always do that, ladies? Go to the worst case scenario and place all the blame on ourselves and none where it might belong? And it’s most heartbreaking because NONE OF THAT MATTERS. Literally none of it. And I can’t stand myself because I 100% believe that each of my clients is beautiful right where she is in her journey but I couldn’t see myself like that. I had lost that belief in myself, that I was worth anything at all.

Yep, that’s right. Me, the one who yells “YAS QUEEN” during sessions and helps people of all shapes, ages, colors and sizes find their groove. Me, the one who genuinely can’t wait to show women how sexy they are when they don’t believe it. Me, the one who does everything I can to uplift people I don’t even know. I didn’t see myself as anything worth having. FOR YEARS y’all. Even after I was out of the toxic environment, it didn’t help. I’m not 20 anymore, there weren’t men lined up around the block waiting to be with me, and the ones who were there were young and dumb or were only looking for a quick lay (…men right…). Nobody magically started telling me I was beautiful and worthy and so my negative self talk continued right along. It was as if my self worth was tied so directly to whether boys wanted to sleep with me that I had forgotten literally everything else about myself.

So, one day I was helping my amazing and talented friend Anna with her mini sessions and during some down time, I was telling her about this new dress that I had gotten for the studio. A dress for some other beautiful girl who was pretty and had confidence and was ready to rock it. Not a dress for me, the one that nobody wants, the one that had on no makeup, hadn’t brushed her hair that day and was 110% not ready to be in front of the camera. She told me to go home, get the dress and come back, she had an opening and wanted it to be me. I cried. Not right then, but on the way home to get the dress, I cried because I didn’t have time to call my makeup artist and get my face taken care of. I cried because I couldn’t shower and curl my hair. I cried because I felt like I was wasting her time and they were all just going to go in the trash because I was so not prepared.

And y’all, with only some foundation and eyeliner hastily and clumsily put on (and then cried off a little bit), with hair that I tried to curl but failed, with a dress that I didn’t feel skinny in…I’m a FUCKING GODDESS. How did I EVER let men (or anyone for that matter) determine my self worth like that? How did I lose myself so completely to the negative self talk and blame for things that were totally out of my control? Why did I think that not wearing makeup and a few extra pounds took away all of the amazing things that I have to offer? I’m so much more than my body, and while I still struggle with the mirror and doubt sometimes, this body is AMAZING and I’m so thankful for friends that remind me of myself. Check out more of her work here.

So, I want to hear it. What’s your “why”? The real one, not the cliff notes version.